I have come to a realization. I'm sure it will be no surprise to you, but it is a shameful epiphany for me: I am my own problem. For the last {length of time}, I have been blaming you for my {unhappiness/failure/alcoholism/etc.}. I wasn't able to take on responsibility for myself and I took it out on you. It was unfair and the worst thing I could have done to my {relationship to recipient}.
I am so sorry for the verbal abuse that I heaped upon you. I belittled you, insulted you, and made you feel unsafe. It makes me feel awful that I was the source of such unhappiness, especially in someone I care about so deeply.
I understand that you may not want to talk to me after all that I've done, and I respect that. You must do what makes you feel best. But I want you to know that I will work tirelessly from here on to improve my behavior and to deal with my feelings in a healthier manner.
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Index of letter of apology templates